Texas Chainsaw Massacres, Ranked
In the bad old days before therapy and kids, I watched pretty much every horror movie ever made. (DISCLAIMER: I know the overlap of ListApp users and Texas Chainsaw enthusiasts is WAY slim. Apologies if this is a "feed clogger" for you. Sometimes I just put stuff out there to see who shares my useless knowledge/ opinions.)
- •The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1985)Genuinely funny; self-aware; basically lays out the entire thesis of Carol Clover's book "Men Women and Chainsaws: Gender in the Modern Horror Film" seven years before she wrote it; and Dennis Hopper is incredible!
- •The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)The first time I saw it in a theater, I had a panic attack and had to leave. Terrifying and sometimes funny (in the darkest way possible). Fascinating artifact of the American subconscious attempting to reconcile the Manson murders.
- •The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)Underrated "big-budget" (not really) remake has some scary stuff, and early Jessica Biel.
- •Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)First professional gig for Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey! Pretty bad but kind of ambitious - some "Illuminati"/ conspiracy stuff and exploration of Leatherface's queer/ drag overtones. Did I mention Bridget Jones and the "Alright alright alright" guy?
- •Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)Kind of stupid and dull. (These last three entries are yecchh.)
- •Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)Cool prologue, then just crazy dumb and unwatchable.
- •The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)Remember that post-Soderbergh period in the mid-2000s, where every movie was contractually obligated to be shot through either blue or yellow filters? This one was yellow. The worst!
- •ADDENDUM: I can't watch stuff like this anymore, it's too horrifying!
- •YET ANOTHER ADDENDUM: I just realized this is actually my SECOND "Chainsaw"-related list. Here's the first one: "Texas Chainsaw Massacre," as Recounted to Me by a 10-year-old Named Mike Flynn