Things I Do Every Time Before Going Online to Read the News

Like many of you, I check the news sites on my phone all day. To stay sane, I came up with this little ritual I do before I start reading. Hope it's helpful!
  1. 1.
    Take a deep breath.
  2. 2.
    Chant the words "All is well" 1,000 times.
  3. 3.
    Re-read Naomi Klein's "Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism" in its entirety.
  4. 4.
    Remind myself that within historical context, the horrible things I'm about to read are probably not the rise of a new Dark Age, but instead the death spasms of old, abusive paradigms the majority of the world has outgrown, and the final, impotent lunge for power of those who lost the battle to keep said paradigms in place.
  5. 5.
    Drink four bottles of malt liquor. (Five if going on Deadline.com)