TO THE NEIGHBORS WHO CALLED THE POLICE AND TRIED TO HAVE ME ARRESTED YESTERDAY

  1. Every day since I started my weight loss routine last year, I walk for exercise.
  2. Yesterday I had a work assignment where I got to work at home, so I walked around my neighborhood.
  3. I had been walking for about half an hour when two police cars pulled up next to me.
  4. The officers got out of their cars and questioned me.
  5. They wanted to know my address, then asked why the address I gave them did not match the address on my driver's license.
    I explained that it's because my family and I only moved to this neighborhood one year ago, and I don't have a new license with my current address.
  6. The officers asked if I knew why they were stopping me.
    I said no.
  7. The officers asked if I had any previous arrests or felonies.
    I said no. Getting nervous here.
  8. The officers informed me that they received several calls regarding an individual who matched my description attempting to break into a nearby home.
  9. I realized I had passed a home that was recently made over/ "flipped" - with a "For Sale" sign in the front yard - and had peered over the fence to see what they did with the backyard.
    It looked really nice, BTW.
  10. The officers called in my license to see if any priors came up. None did. So they gave me back my license and told me to have a nice day.
  11. But I couldn't help expressing my surprise (i.e. polite skepticism) that they actually received multiple calls about me in the span of my relatively brief walk.
  12. One of the officers asked if I wanted to see the calls on his computer. I said yes.
  13. The officer opened his passenger-side door and swiveled the dashboard computer so I could read it.
  14. Of the multiple calls they received, one jumped out at me.
  15. It read: "White male, 30s, slender build, glasses, black hoodie, dark shorts."
  16. As the officers drove away, I thought a lot about that report.
    A guy in a "black hoodie" and a pair of Dickies who peers into an (unoccupied) backyard is a potential criminal...? Can you imagine the ways this interaction could have gone differently if I was NOT a 44-year old white male?
  17. I started feeling pissed off.
  18. But I hate to admit how mitigated my anger was by the other part of that description:
  19. "30s, slender build."
  20. 30s, SLENDER BUILD!!!
  21. To the neighbors who called the police and tried to have me arrested yesterday:
  22. And: