Before @list I had Twitter. Inspired by @lizdonehue
  1. Is it too late to say sorry now?- me to myself after thanksgiving dinner
  2. I'm just a soul whose intentions are to eat as much spanakopita as possible
  3. The last measure of devotion: getting in bed and realizing your Chapstick is across the room and getting up to get it with your last ounce of strength
  4. I forgot about that bastard. -my mom re: Fenrir Greyback
  5. Wtf is elbow grease
  6. Am I in hell or am I in the Union Square Trader Joe's at rush hour
  7. Came out the house with no ankle bracelet on but he's got two strikes so don't get his order wrong - Socrates
  8. Vampire Weekend, Vampire Lifetime
  9. I'm just a soul whose intentions are to find a man that I love as much as I love breakfast
  10. Shoutout to trail mix for always being there #loyal
  11. Saturday morning aesthetic: eating over easy eggs and watching an emotionally draining episode of Cake Boss
  12. Functioning minimally, eating toast: an autobiography
  13. Sometimes I remember how much coffee I consumed in college and shudder
  14. The road to my heart is paved with cannoli
  15. "Hot guys reading on the subway" should be an Instagram