MY RECENT ENCOUNTER WITH A MANSPLAINER

  1. I was recently in a group environment for ten days straight
  2. There was a guy in this group who was very clearly hitting on me
  3. Like, laying it on thick
  4. I was laying across a palm tree and he came up to me afterward and said I looked like a mermaid
    This confused me for a lot of reasons but mostly because I have legs
  5. Our hotel rooms happened to be next to each other and he hinted that I'd placed him next to me on purpose
    I hadn't
  6. He kept walking near me and standing near me and offering to carry things for me
  7. He had a terrible attitude during the program
  8. He complained when we did volunteer service at the national food bank
  9. Like this guy is a grade A asshole
  10. Anyway back to the story
  11. He was starting to weird me out
  12. My guy friends on the trip kept mentioning how shady and creepy this guy was
  13. So I kept my distance
  14. One night I was chatting with my friends in the hallway of the hostel and I was jokingly complaining that I kept getting put on the guys' floor
  15. And Mansplainer goes "well it's good validation for you"
  16. And I was like excuse me
  17. And he goes "like, it's validation for you. Male attention."
  18. So I said "I don't need male attention to validate anything. It's 2016 and I'm a fully actualized grown woman. That's gross to say."
  19. 👍🏻
  20. So fast forward through the rest of the trip
  21. I basically ignored him because duh?
  22. The trip ends
  23. And I get a Facebook message from him asking why I ignored him
  24. I sort of brushed it off because I didn't want to have the conversation
  25. And he asked me to be honest so I was
  26. And I said that his "flirting" with me made me uncomfortable so I kept my distance
  27. And then he totally took ownership of it and apologized
  28. JUST KIDDING LOL OF COURSE HE DIDN'T
  29. Instead he
  30. ~*pause for shock*~
  31. Got angry
  32. And said that I had been rude and dismissive and that I should've addressed it with him on the trip but that that WOULD HAVE TAKEN SOME COURAGE
  33. 👍🏻
  34. And before I could respond he said "but don't worry, I'm letting it go 😊"
  35. So I said "I encourage you to look at your own behavior that caused me to react that way to you."
  36. He didn't respond obviously
  37. But can I just say how furious it made me that rape culture and victim blaming are so deeply ingrained in people's minds that his first reaction to me,
  38. Instead of, you know, apologizing for making me extremely uncomfortable,
  39. Was to blame me for not addressing his creepiness with him in the way that would have pleased him.
  40. And he thinks he's the bigger person for "letting it go."
  41. 🙃