CATALOGUE OF ACADEMIC LIFE

As overheard by a non-academic
  1. (English professor in response to a question about the gender ratio in Undergrad 10 years ago) "well, to tell you the truth, it's all about the text for me...that was true for me even more so in was in undergrad than now"
  2. (Economics professor) "I do not derive utility from talking to you like this"
  3. (English professor in my 4 pm Milton class on a warm Thursday) "Where is everyone? It's book 9!!! We're discussing book 9! Don't they know it's book 9?!"
  4. (English professor discussing Hamlet) "The idea of providence meant something different in the early modern period than in the Middle Ages but I'm a medevilist so I'm going to ignore that..."
  5. (Math professor) "That's what they call a dominating function" *mimes cracking a whip*
  6. (Journalism professor) "Aside from the writing and organization this was a shrewd response"
  7. (English professor every 5 or so minutes, pausing before her next tangent) "In any case..."