THE DEFINITIVE RANKING OF JOHNNY DEPP CHARACTERS BY WHO WOULD BE THE BEST BOYFRIEND

21 random roles. Not enough heart emojis in the world.
  1. 1.
    Ed Wood, Ed Wood
    Caveat: my type is "struggling artists from Poughkeepsie."
  2. 2.
    Cry-Baby, Cry-Baby
    Every time another guy looked at you, Cry-Baby would fight him. Then he'd sing a song.
  3. 3.
    Raphael, The Brave
    His hair is the only thing that matters. And the fact that he's willing to sacrifice his life for his family. Whatever.
  4. 4.
    Roux, Chocolat
    Mysterious foreigner who supports your candy habit. Yup.
  5. 5.
    Gilbert Grape, What's Eating Gilbert Grape
    You know he's gonna be a good bf. He's so nice to lil' Leo.
  6. 6.
    Officer Tom Hanson, 21 Jump Street
    He's got a good job, the face of an angel, and your parents will love him.
  7. 7.
    J. M. Barrie, Finding Neverland
    Smart. Loves kids. British accent. Done.
  8. 8.
    Ichabod Crane, Sleepy Hollow
    Nerdy but hot.
  9. 9.
    Joe Pistone, Donnie Brasco
    Takes his work home with him. I bet he's got a lot of frustration to work out IFYAKNKOWWHATIMEAN
  10. 10.
    Bon Bon, Before Night Falls
    You can trade clothes!
  11. 11.
    Sweeney Todd, Sweeney Todd
    He's SERIOUSLY LOYAL. But he miiiiiiight accidentally kill you and everyone you know. I'll risk it.
  12. 12.
    Abberline, From Hell
    If the drugs and whores don't bother you too much, this guy could clean up ok. And he's super smart.
  13. 13.
    Jack, Private Resort
    There are worse things than dating a teenage horndog. There are also better things.
  14. 14.
    William Blake, Dead Man
    I'm not really into the strong, silent, murder-y type.
  15. 15.
    Lieutenant Victor, Before Night Falls
    He probably gets a pension? And you'd never have to wait for a table anywhere in Havana.
  16. 16.
    George Jung, Blow
    Coke is like, so uncool. Next.
  17. 17.
    Raoul Duke, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
    Never wants to introduce you to his friends.
  18. 18.
    Glen, Nightmare on Elm Street
    He can't even figure out how NOT to get eaten by his bed.
  19. 19.
    Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean 1-1,000,000
    Always on the road. Definitely has scurvy.
  20. 20.
    Rochester, The Libertine
    His nose falls off from syphilis.
  21. 21.
    The Mad Hatter, Alice in Wonderland
    I'd rather date a man with no nose than be in the same room as this psychopath.