Chapter Titles In The Book About My Life 📖

  1. My First Crush Was the Fox from Disney's Animated Robin Hood
    My current crush is the fox from Zootopia so I find that particularly revealing
  2. The Almost Kidnapping and the Purple Truck
    A brief incident, a lifetime of fear
  3. Why I Never Received My Hogwarts Letter
    Because sometimes the Muggle world needs a little magic of its own. Also no one can convince me that owls don't ever accidentally drop things, that's ridiculous
  4. In Which I Alienate Everyone With My Awkwardness
    So...yeah
  5. The Family Mystery
    It's so lame but so fascinating and was never solved
  6. So Much Tired, So Little Sleep
    Zzz escapes me
  7. Cinderella of Target
    I'm forced to leave at midnight and suddenly find I'm poor again...coincidence?!
  8. No Money, More Car Problems
    F that S. I got fed up and bought a Prius.
  9. Laughter is My Default Setting
    lol. No seriously.
  10. In Which I Explore the Illusion of Adulthood
    I'm just 12 y/o me with bills.
  11. The Realization of Resilience
    aka the weaponization of happiness