Things My Dad Thinks Can Be Solved by Weightlifting

Thanks, dad.
  1. "Ugh I can't fit into my favorite jeans anymore, dad."
    "Have you been lifting regularly?"
  2. "I'm really tired and I can't sleep well lately."
    "You should really have a regular lifting routine."
  3. "I'm so hungry!"
    *Squints at me* "What are your lifting patterns lately?"
  4. "I don't feel well. I wonder if I have the flu."
    "How long has it been since you lifted?"
  5. "I'm not doing anything this weekend. None of my friends live here."
    "There's lots of people to lift with at the gym."
  6. *I've been in a coma for two weeks and finally wake up to my family standing around me*
    "We're so glad you're okay honey, but I noticed you haven't lifted in a couple weeks."