My Mother, Donna, is a lovely woman. But she tends to forget that her thoughts should not always be said out loud - a trait which I have inherited. These are her real life quotes
  1. "Wearing your hair in a ponytail makes you look like a hunchback"
  2. "Your eye makeup makes you look like a raccoon"
  3. "Guys would probably like you better if you lost ten lbs"
  4. "You shouldn't have taken that new job because now you'll have to work on Friday and Monday when your Dad and I are visiting."
    Yes, you guys. My mom advocated me staying on unemployment so I would be available the entire time they were in town.
  5. "I think I need to rethink our relationship"
    It's like she was going to breakup with me...
  6. You need to fix your eyebrows - you look like Ugly Betty.
  7. That haircut you just spent $300 on makes your face look chunky.