SKILLS A PERSONAL TRAINER MUST POSSESS

  1. Be able to count to ten - forwards and backwards
    Bonus points if you can count to 15
  2. You don't have to be too good at counting though - if you skip or repeat a number in the middle your client will either love you or hate you, but whatever, extra reps are good for them
  3. Be good at estimating how long 30 seconds is
    For the client this should feel somewhere between watching the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy and Sisyphus pushing his rock for all eternity
  4. Actually the rock thing - lets incorporate that into our next session!
  5. Have a really good sympathetic but disappointed face for when your client looks at you in anguish when you tell them "just 10 more seconds"
    They know you weren't paying attention to the clock at the beginning of the rep
  6. Be able to apply a guilt trip, without seeming too judgy, when asking your client how often they come to the gym and what they do when they're not with you
    Know that whatever the client says, you need to subtract 1 day and probably halve the workout time - they pay you so much money they feel the need to lie in order to not disappoint you
  7. Ask them what they ate this week, and when they say Kale Salad display a knowing looking until they admit it had breaded chicken, candied walnuts and a cheeseburger on top of it
  8. (I feel like I need to add a disclaimer here that this list is not meant to disparage personal trainers...I love my personal trainer and she is the only reason I ever work out💪🏻)