WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR HANDS WHILE WALKING
Because does anyone really know?
- •Let them swing by your sides. Pay far too much attention to the velocity and height of the swing. Second guess all of life's standards conventions and the realities of human biology
- •Scroll your phone, confirming every suspicion people have about you being a depthless millennial
- •Adjust and readjust your sleeves. Rolled up? Pull them down, you're cold. Already down? Roll them up, you mean business! This is a business walk!
- •Put them in your pockets. You're cool, you're nonchalant. Life is a journey, man.
- •Point at things. Anything.
- •Pick up the nearest book/brochure/discarded receipt and study it intently as you walk. You're smart, right? Well now's your time to show it.
- •Pick at your nails with inappropriate focus and intensity
- •Count something with your fingers such as the hours of sleep you got last night or the number of people in your life who have seen you naked
- •Adjust your hair. Probably make it worse
- •Wave at people you don't know
- •Wave at people you do know in the hopes that they wave back, thus prolonging the amount of time your hand is occupied by a task in mid-air
- •Brush nonexistent schmutz off yourself
- •Do whatever comes naturally, for that select group of people who don't worry about these things