THINGS I'VE HEARD YOGA TEACHERS SAY IN CLASS THAT HAVE UNDONE ALL BENEFITS GAINED DURING SAID CLASS

  1. "Shoulder stand is good for you because it reverses all the blood flow in your body." Pretty sure this is not possible, and were it to happen, would not be good for you.
  2. "Chair Pose! Don't be afraid to sit in that chair- it's not an electric chair! [giggle]" nothing funnier and more zen than Capitol punishment.
  3. "When we twist we squeeze the toxins out of our organs- like a sponge" out of organs... And just.. Into our bodies? Where do they go?
  4. "If you have a neighbor's foot in your face, don't be afraid of touch--reach out and say hi." Stranger neighbor, please don't touch my sweaty foot. Also, some of us are extremely ticklish.