BOYS I WILL NEVER LOVE

  1. Boys who say they don't like riding horses because they prefer riding "mechanically"
  2. Boys who wear real Ray Bans and feel great every time they do
  3. Boys who carry around coolers equipped with protein jellies, muscle milk, and low-calorie Cliff Bars
  4. Boys who listen to Dave Matthews Band
  5. Boys who say, "you'd be 10 times funnier if you had a filter"
  6. Boys who wear Tortoise shell glasses and suggest taking coffee roasting workshops
  7. Boys who have read "Catcher In the Rye" and #loveit
  8. Boys who like, "Boyhood"
  9. Boys who cried during "Marley & Me"
  10. Boys who want girls to vibe Zoeey Deschanel
    Boys who have listened to "Short skirt, long jacket."
  11. Boys who love their moms too much
  12. Boys who can't explain the chemical process of Kombucha