I am not sure that you will find any of these suggestions in the parent handbook but this is what some it might look like.
  1. Take a six hour bus ride from New York to Boston to see your son.
    Now this may not seem so challenging but given that it was supposed to be a mere 4 hours , I think it just might be an act of heroism.
  2. Always listen carefully to the subtext.
    In this case it would be that your 25 year old has been working around the clock lately AND has also just moved. He says he is fine. But those maternal hormones you acquire upon giving birth get the better of you when you notice that he is calling more often. I think it is fair to say that motherly instinct is the gift that keeps on giving. At any hour of the day.
  3. Have a delicious dinner with him.
    Go to a favorite veggie diner in Cambridge. Maybe one called Veggie Galaxy . Order the Seitan chimichangas. Nothing wrong with any of that. So far -great job!
  4. Be on call whenever necessary.
    Wake up the next morning at 7.30 am at a friend's home nearby and hang around for him to get in touch to see what will now be required of you. Perhaps a funky breakfast ? Or are we now at the lunch hour ?
  5. Always have a tape measure handy but only use when absolutely necessary .
    Get sweaty in the heat of the Summer while perusing furniture shops in order to help him solve his "27 allowance up the narrow stair case "issue. Appeal to your motherly gut to guide you here. He wants your help but he doesn't want you to solve his problems. GET IT? Back off. Support him but also detach with love. He is your best teacher.
  6. Work through your own emotional issues on your own time.
    Let him show you the neighborhood then go hang a few pictures with the input of his delightful new roommate. Watch him level the picture with a leveler. Be impressed. This process might involve a letting go of haunting images you have been living with of the home decorating visits by your in laws who lovingly designed your first few homes while ignoring your presence. Get over it. Your input is welcome here. How do you know ? He is beaming with gratitude.
  7. Go see a Red Sox game.
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    Now this may be asking a lot but be open to whatever may follow. For mothers whose sons have recently abandoned their vegetarian upbringing ,don't be surprised if they make a beeline to bring you to the tofu hot dog counter. This is a wonderful gesture and another moment to delight yet again in the grateful, sensitive ,mindful boy you have raised.