7 THINGS I WILL ADMIT I'M GOOD AT

BUT ONLY IF I HAVE TO.
  1. Identifying the original 151 Pokémon.
    This is a talent that my friends could honestly care less about, but I will FOREVER be proud. ✨
  2. Reciting interesting anecdotes, trivia and facts.
    I recently spent 5+ minutes telling my friends facts about pigeons. NPR and podcasts make me seem much more knowledgeable than I am.
  3. Neatly folding shirts with no flat surface to fold them on.
    I was an on-call employee at a Macy's department store, and I had certain managers who RECOGNIZED my potential. Shout out to my homies in housewares and intimates.
  4. Impressions of 15% of my co-workers and 1% of the rest of my acquaintances.
    I can't do celebrity impressions, but I can improvise a conversation between my cousin and his wife.
  5. Identifying individual smells.
    OKAY THIS IS GOING TO SOUND WEIRD, but when I was a kid my family would blindfold me and then hand me one pillow at a time. With 5 siblings and 2 parents, I could tell you which pillow belonged to who EVERY TIME. I am a freaking BLOODHOUND.
  6. Playing Dr. Mario.
    I would feel comfortable participating in a serious Dr. Mario tournament.
  7. Drawing on-demand Sharpie tattoos.
    Somewhere along the line, I accrued a large number of Sharpies and learned how to do gradients with them on human skin. Now people have me draw them weird things on their arms.