I worked as a tour guide for 9 months at one of the top zoos in the country.
  1. Is that poop?
    A2b46ab2 8100 4569 9328 1a9030ad9c8b
    Of course. What did you think it was?
  2. Is this poop or animal food?
    296c410f a163 49b4 8a4e cf457a6a450a
    Definitely poop. Please put it back on the ground where you found it.
  3. Does that gorilla have poop in its hand?
    898b813a 578e 413c 9fee 3751d5d23bbe
    Well... it was poop. Then the gorilla ate her poop and vomited it back up into her hand to get attention from the crowd. So I'm not sure what the exact word for that mixture would be.
  4. Have you ever had an animal escape?
    B46b3485 8100 441a be32 fde419189975
    Actually, yes! Our sloth escaped once. I'd tell you the whole story, but the plot is a little slow.
  5. What are those animals doing?
    29ae237e cd1f 40e3 af4b 8b720bfd99bf
    Celebrating the fact that it's Wednesday.
  6. Can we go see the panther?
    F0e9d5f3 0fd8 41fb 85db 49dd5f1ed19b
    No. Not because I'm the meanest tour guide alive, but because there is no such thing as a panther. What you are actually probably asking to go see is the black jaguar or black leopard.
  7. Can we go see the orangutang?
    2c81a36f dd90 44a2 b371 8d0bf050180e
    No. Because the correct pronunciation is actually orangutan. No "g" on the end. Okay, maybe I am the meanest tour guide alive.
  8. Is it sleeping?
    12ad36d8 9b14 4eda a4b6 7fdf98980e8c
    Yes, let's go with that.
  9. WHAT IS THIS ANIMAL?
    58dd7b89 1115 4b41 912b 53252b7602df
    That is a ground squirrel. Yes, please continue to ask me questions about this animal you can find in your own backyard rather than all of the exotic animals from around the world you are here to see.
  10. Can we go back and watch the movie now?
    2ca498ef ae3d 4220 9335 d8fd1cf1ea6e
    Yes. Fine. Whatever.