How to Be an Asshole

As told to me by my friend Travis (he was not sober at the time)
  1. Chapter one: I'm awesome
    And you're not
  2. Chapter two: Passive Aggressive Compliments
    I've never seen hair on a girl like that! Etc... Don't give legitimate compliments
  3. Chapter three: Inflated Sense of Self Worth
    I'm just very good looking.
  4. Chapter four: it's my book
    See above
  5. Chapter five: Announce What Everyone Else is Thinking
    Even if you're wrong. You're right.
  6. Chapter 9: up up down down left right left right select start
  7. Chapter 10: I just throw it all out there
    And see what sticks
  8. Chapter 12: people who are working
    Fuck 'em
  9. Chapter 13: at the end of the day
    If they're working don't be a dick
  10. Chapter 19: Don't say LITERALLY or ACTUALLY
    Ever
  11. Chapter 20: don't buy anything for anyone
    EVER
  12. Chapter 21: buy good stuff for good people
    Always
  13. Chapter 🍆: It looks like a dick
    Just like you
  14. Chapter: go fuck yourself
    Go Fuck Yourself
  15. Chapter 22: I'm great in bed
    Just ask me