THE LAST FIVE AND A HALF THINGS THAT MADE ME CRY

in no particular order
  1. The grenade scene in Captain America.
    I wasn't even watching it, just thinking about it. That was apparently enough.
  2. Sitting next to my grandmother at church on Mother's Day.
    But only because that's where I was thinking about the grenade scene in Captain America, so maybe this should only count as half?
  3. Later at that same service they sang a song I used to love, about mothers and stories and naturally Jesus.
    I thought about my other grandmother who had died and my mother who didn't have a mother anymore while sitting next to the grandmother I did still have but was shit at making time to go see and I missed my mother intensely just then, though I also do all the time. I'm ashamed to say I cried less during the song than I did while thinking about that damn grenade scene.
  4. "A Case of You" by Joni Mitchell on repeat as I walked back from an event and a party and a bar where I spoke to no one but the doorman and the bartender because I was too busy having a panic attack to try to talk to anyone else, including at least three of my favorite writers, not that the doorman and/or bartender were not lovely people.
    But hey li.st live, thanks for reminding me to get on you.
  5. Spider-Man's first appearance in Captain America: Civil War.
    He's just so happy to be there. I'm just so happy he's there. The world is a beautiful place, you guys.
  6. The lyrics to "Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional, but also the rest of the song.
    I forget why I was googling Spider-Man (but when am I ever not googling Spider-Man) but I got to the part of the Wikipedia article where they talk about related articles and I saw the list of songs and I read that this song had been written in ten minutes after seeing the movie and I was all fuck you man, it takes me like four weeks to write a goddamn song but now here I am looking up the lyrics and getting chills so intense I might fray my one good flannel and I wouldn't even be mad, much.
  7. What I've learned from this is I have a lot of feelings about Spider-Man and also Joni Mitchell.
    I should have made this a list of ten to get more variety or something but let's be real, with me it's always Spider-Man and also Joni Mitchell.
  8. But seriously though, how perfect was that goddamn grenade scene?