Momisms

My mom is one of the strangest, funniest people I know.
  1. When I'm being lazy
    "I carried you for nine months forming your arms and legs so that you could go get that yourself."
  2. When I lack motivation
    She does interpretive dances for me that correspond with motivational words like "determination" and "perseverance"
  3. When I haven't finished my food
    "There are starving children in China that would love to eat the rest of your food."
  4. When I frown
    She uses two fingers to push my eyebrows apart so I don't get wrinkles
  5. When I screw up my words
    "I speak better English than you, and I'm just a foreigner."
  6. When dinner is ready
    She sends me a text with just the name of the food (for example, "Hot dog" or "Taco")
  7. When I'm being a diva
    "Don't be such a diva."