Reasons My Roommate Should Definitely Not Buy A Guitar From This Craig's List Guy

  1. Here is the transcript of his email response to her inquiry:
    "Why yes sir its actuakk]]lly the last day of its availability due to the fact that I'm going to have to be putting a few items in storage to make way for new inventory so your timing couldn't haven been more perfect, ok si I only have one finaly day with the item and I youd like to stop bym check it iutk pplay it for a minute to experience te crisp warm beautifuk tones now woud be the time. What time wors best you"
  2. Based on the typos and lack of punctuation alone, I'm assuming he either was late for something extremely important, was on drugs, or didn't give a fuck while writing this email.
    None of which bode well for this stranger on the Internet.
  3. The mass of letters and symbols in what I'm assuming is supposed to be "actually" suggests he fell asleep on his computer at some point.
  4. I find it suspicious that at some places in the email there are influxes of useless words like "due to the fact that" and at others he left out some words entirely.
    Almost like he was coming in and out of manic episodes.
  5. At the part where he asks her to come by and check it out, the errors get out of control, leading me to believe he's hiding something and is just a terrible liar.
    He's probably hiding the fact that he plans to lure her into his creepy apartment and kill her, right? Isn't that what Craig's list is for?
  6. His vivid description of the guitar's "tones" seems unnecessary, especially since it's obvious he spent no extra time on any of the rest of this email, and makes me think he has some weird sexual feelings toward this guitar.
  7. The ending seems abrupt and hasty, as if someone had just burst into this guy's apartment with a gun and he was like "wait, let me finish this email real quick!"
    He's probably dead now and it's pointless for my roommate to try to buy his guitar anyways.