The Funniest Things My Chinese Mother Has Ever Said

  1. "I'm over Johnny Depp."
    The first woman in America to utter those words.
  2. "If Russia was ruled by Olga and not Putin there wouldn't be this conflict."
    When I asked who Olga is, she shrugged and said, "some Russian woman." My mom is apparently a firm believer in girl power.
  3. "Right there, on that corner, that's where I saw my very first long-haired guy ever."
    Said while driving around in Chicago, reminiscing about her first days in America.
  4. "Why is it all broken up?"
    I was showing her a picture of the Colosseum from my trip to Europe.
  5. "I know."
    This is the only way she ever responds to complements.
  6. "Aw, my grandchildren will be so cute."
    No pressure.