HOW TO TELL WHEN I'M DONE BEING YOUR FRIEND

We're all works in progress (😏) so in the past this is how I have chosen to handle these situations. Guess who's petty!
  1. β€’
    When you do something clearly fucked up to me I won't bother confronting you because I consider you a lost cause
  2. β€’
    I will make a flimsy excuse to not attend your event and then probably tweet the cool thing I am doing during said event (not on purpose but because I literally just can't even muster a fuck)
  3. β€’
    I won't pretend to care when you talk about yourself
  4. β€’
    I will NOT subtweet you because you do not deserve the effort
  5. β€’
    I usually don't let people touch me but I really, really won't let you touch me
  6. β€’
    Lol @ you thinking your texts are getting acknowledged
  7. β€’
    Lol @ you thinking you will continue to receive fun anecdotes about my life
  8. β€’
    Until one day you will look around and realize that I've gone utterly ghost on you
  9. β€’
    Have I mentioned I'm from Minnesota? πŸ‘ΈπŸΎ