1. I have an amazing job in which I get to help two awesome first time showrunners run their show
  2. They are kind, loving, thoughtful goofballs and they don't even get angry when I chew loudly in the writers room
  3. That being said, I might low key be too black for this motherfucking job in this motherfucking industry
  4. Let me explain
  5. Currently we're in the process of interviewing director candidates for the series
  6. Our network sent over a list of around 50 recommended directors
  7. One day at lunch, the showrunners made the grave error of showing the list to me
  8. "What do you think, April? Do you recognize any of these names?"
  9. Gulp.
  10. Is my black ass really gonna do this?
  11. At this dream job that I'm lucky to have in the first place??
  12. Do I really have to bring my black with me everywhere I go????
  13. "I recognize all of these names and have worked with a few of them."
  14. "And?"
  15. "They're all white dudes."
  16. They stared at me, blank, not even chewing. Just confusion and hot, Valley sun on their faces. "Huh?"
  17. "They're all...white dudes. Like, I'm sure working with any of them would be fine. But they're all white dudes. We have a problem on our hands in this town and these are all white dudes."
  18. I took a bite of my sandwich. I could not believe I just Zora Neale Hurston'd my poor white bosses at a Veggie Grill.
  19. The problem is, I will always be this way.
  20. There is no amount of money you can pay me or opportunity you can give me that will shut me up.
  21. I can't hold my tongue. I will always speak up. I will not stop fighting for creators of color until there are enough of us that we no longer have to have these conversations.
  22. I am lucky. I work in an enviroment where my thoughts are valued and my opinion matters. I know what its like to risk your job by speaking up. I've been Wyatt Cenac too many times to count.
  23. At the end of the day, Hollywood is gonna be the one doing the changing, not me. I will never shut my black ass up. My fight goes with me everyone I go.