MODERN SLANG I UNABASHEDLY USE IN CONVERSATION

Including real sentences I've actually said out loud
  1. Pressed
    Extremely concerned, perhaps absurdly so. "I'm extremely pressed about Louie and Pamela's relationship."
  2. Basic
    The utter lack of nuance or originality. "Shopping at Target is basic, but shopping at The Dollar Tree is inspired."
  3. Stan
    Extreme fanaticism, to take your level of fandom to the most exaggerated degree. Originates from that creepy Eminem video. "I stan so hard for Bea Arthur."
  4. Low-key
    A phrase used to indicate an intended understatement. "I low-key think Britney Spears has been dead behind the eyes since 2007."
  5. Tried it
    When someone attempts to attack, mistreat, or outsmart you. "That Comcast customer service rep really tried it this morning, but I threatened to report them and ended up with free HBO."
  6. Drag
    To put someone in their place and in some instances, physically drag them. "I had to drag Katy Perry on Twitter for all that cultural appropriation she's been perpetuating lately."
  7. GO OFF!!
    Only shouted. A phrase used to encourage one who is already doing well; they may be dressed impeccably, in the middle of a crowd pleasing speech, or generally handling life's hurdles with finesse. "When I saw Lupita on the red carpet I could not help but yell 'yass Lupita, GO OFF!!' at my tv screen."