MY FAVORITE WAYS TO REJECT SEXUAL ADVANCES

  1. He whispers "ay lil mama you got a fat ass" and I respond "and our nation has a fat prison-industrial complex"
  2. He's like "ay shorty how did you get all that ass in those jeans" and I respond "as a marginalized black woman in the united states, I'm used to overcoming adversity and beating the odds"
  3. He's like "yo shawty you so thick everybody else in the room is so uncomfortable" and I respond "as a black woman dedicated to education I often occupy elite/all white spaces and make those in positions of power quite uneasy simply by being present"
  4. He's like "damn girl you so fine is you lookin at me" and I respond "actually I'm looking for my copy of The New Jim Crow, I seem to have misplaced it"
  5. He's like "ay girl can you be my trapqueen" and I respond "the prevalence of illegal drug culture in the United States is no laughing matter and has only been worsened by the legalization of marijuana. Now, black men sit in jail for selling ounces of weed while white men sell it in bulk in Colorado"