1. "Auntie April your hair looks dry"
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    Antoinette, 9, Disney Channel Mean Girl
  2. "Auntie April what are you gonna do with yourself now that you are done with school and you don't know anything"
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    Leela, 8, chubby, astute
  3. "Auntie April those Sketchers are WACK"
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    Barzee, 10, prideful, asked me not to discuss his upcoming puberty with him
  4. "Auntie April are you seriously never getting any taller"
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    Justin, 14, we're worried he's gonna turn out either basic or a fuckboy
  5. Even though I wish my sister spanked them more, I love these a-holes
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