WHAT I THOUGHT I WOULD BE LIKE

I remember being 10 and imagining my future self so vividly. I'm, uh, quite different than I thought I would be.
  1. I thought I would be killin' it in the club like Jessica Alba in Honey
  2. I thought I would have already met my delicious black husband and would be spending the next five years "playing hard to get"
  3. I thought I would have a much more ethnically diverse crew and we would take hip hop dance classes together
  4. I thought I would have longer hair and be 3 inches taller
  5. I thought I would be much more calm, cool, collected and less irate at all times
  6. I thought I would never have to buy my own gin fizzes at bars
  7. I thought I would def have a hover board
  8. I thought I would know how to do stuff
    Everyone tells you your twenties are the decade where you're "just figuring things out" but I thought I would be the rare exception and know how to do things like taxes and buying supportive bras and have a conversation with my Godmother
  9. I thought I would never get nervous
  10. I thought I would have figured out a way to be rich by now?
  11. I thought I would be thin/somehow a runner
  12. I thought I would always know what is coming next
    WHY, who told me this
  13. I thought I wouldn't be afraid of the dark or the basement.
    Suggested by   @karenelkinscohen