THE PERKS OF BEING A TALL PERSON

Bear in mind that I'm only 5'9" but for a girl that's tall (5'4" is the average).
  1. 1.
    People automatically assume I have athletic prowess.
    False assumption--I cannot sink a basketball to save my life.
  2. 2.
    My large stride means getting places faster 💃🏻🔥.
  3. 3.
    Get to be the friend always asked to fetch things in high places.
    I am never annoyed or inconvenienced if you need that jar of olives in the back of the cupboard.
  4. 4.
    Never having to do a sorority squat in a group photo.
    I will always be the first to yell out "Tall people in the back!" while headed towards my rightful place in the tableaux.
  5. 5.
    Can embody a convincingly intimidating persona merely by wearing high heels.
    At which point insecure, butthurt men will passive aggressively imply that my wearing heels makes them feel short and bad. 👹 #thatsthepoint muahahahaha 😏
  6. 6.
    Never an obstructed view.
    Concerts, movies, observing spontaneous street brawls when they break out.
  7. 7.
    Bucking stereotypes.
    Can cause confusion for folks convinced that Asians should be short. 🙀
  8. 8.
    Basically, life is so good.