"The Problems With Models A through S" by Henry Ford

Found in Henry Ford's lab notes upon his death in 1947. Edited for anti-semitism.
  1. Model A: Horse.
  2. Model B: Added four wheels, engine. Horse's body rejected improvements.
  3. Model C: Bike.
  4. Model D: Car-ish. Drivers confused by intricate pully system.
  5. Model E: Turn signals too loud.
  6. Model F: Better, but was on fire more often than you'd want it to be.
  7. Model G: Interchangeable parts wouldn't stop changing.
  8. Model H: Shaped like small Titanics. (abandoned after tragedy)
  9. Model I: One day Smith walked in, tore up all our designs and said "Two words: Pogo Cars."
  10. Model J: Stained glass windshield. Majestic, but impractical.
  11. Model K: Accidently skipped this letter.
  12. Model L: Cartoon car that bounced in unison with music, went "chuga chuga" and had tires with visible air lumps.
  13. Model M: Ran on fossil fuels, but specifically T-Rex fossils.
  14. Model N: You had to pull it backwards first and then it would zoom forward like 20 feet.
  15. Model O: HOT.
  16. Model P: Chevy logo on front.
  17. Model Q: So inherently purple that it couldn't be painted black.
  18. Model R: Required you to run while holding the body of the vehicle like some sort of caveman. Ultimately decided this would work better as children's TV show/vitamins/ice pops.
  19. Model S: Perfect, save for awful name.