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  1. is there anything better than this spot?
  2. meow thinks not
  3. ....sry had to do it
pros and cons
  1. It's on the "first floor"
    surprise! The first floor of the building is actually 2 stories underground
  2. I have my own outside patio
    Its 2 stories underground and surrounded by 3 really tall walls of concrete... soo it's a glorified pit.
  3. I found a cute baby mouse out there tho
    It was dead
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It's happening
  1. If I had known this I quite literally would not have signed a lease here.
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this morning
  1. Man: (out of nowhere) "your eyebrows look really pretty"
  2. Me: ... thanks
  3. Man: "actually you look pretty, that outfit is beautiful"
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  1. cutting fruit beautifully is actually kinda hard
  2. there will always be that drunk guy who hits u up allll night and never. tips. once.
    In the case of this wedding there were like 50 of those guys. don't be that guy
  3. how to pretend to pour vodka but not actually pour any (towards the end of the night when people are too hammered)
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I wrote this list of "100 Things To Do Before I Die" on an airplane barfbag in 8th grade (circa 2004) and I've saved it ever since. It's epic. Let's take a closer looksie shall we...✔️s for the items I've already done
  1. 1. Skydiving
    Be more cliche
  2. 2. Mountain Climbing
    I promise this gets way more entertaining
  3. 3. Visit Australia
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  1. Just landed in Philly
  2. it's setting in
  3. I know 2 people here
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  1. Treadmill minutes
    plz can I stop now
  2. Airplane minutes if you can't sleep
    verry close second
  3. Microwave minutes
    get in my bellyyyy
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or clear & convincing evidence that studying for the bar exam has made me of unsound mind
  1. B/c despite its location in a residential area, the property somehow ended up completely landlocked with no access to any roads
  2. It's probably subject to like 5 mortgages, 3 statutory mechanic's liens, 4 purchase money security interests, and a home equity loan and, naturally, no one bothered to record ANY OF IT
  3. B/c unbeknownst to most, Big Oil & Gas Co actually holds an interest in the mineral estate & they're about to come in and fuck shit up big time
    with absolutely no consequences
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w/ my cat obviously. his name is Homie.
  1. how
  2. can
  3. you
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