1. Refer to your best friend as their best friend
    like bitch plz where were u during the awkward middle school years? & the limp bizkit years before that?
  2. Claim not to know anything about makeup when they clearly know shit about makeup
    umm not knowing makeup is MY thing & I know for a fact that you regularly shop at Ulta
  3. Humble brag about their diet/workout habits
    oh really? you're really upset that u only ran 3 miles this morning & then "splurged" on a fruit smoothie? oh no please tell me more about how much you sweat during hot yoga this afternoon
  4. Spend the 15 minutes immediately after taking pictures at an event meticulously picking out the perfect pic, photoshopping it, curating the perfect filter, & posting it to social media
    you really can't just wait until you get home at which time the actual event isn't currently occurring?
  5. Put their jacket or backpack directly where your feet naturally want to go thereby restricting the leg positions/movement available to you
    corporations betch I'm lookin at u
  6. Try to pressure you to wear high heels just so that they don't look overdressed
    im truly sry but u did this to yourself