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Today is my sickiversary. I came down with ME/CFS on June 18, 2006 and have been sick for every second of every day since then. I have been sick for ten years, for one decade. Here's what I have learned.
  1. 1.
    Nothing happens for a reason
    Punch anyone that tells you otherwise right in the dick.
  2. 2.
    Pain is not a competition
  3. 3.
    Life is suffering
    Life is the parasitic wasp laying its egg in a living caterpillar, and the baby wasp eating its way out, as the caterpillar twitches and dies. The United States in 2016 is not natural. We're not supposed to have cotton candy and live past 50. This isn't normal. *My* life is normal. Suffering is normal. Life is an endurance contest until something catches up to you and takes you down.
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My favorite part of comedian Rob Delaney's Twitter presence is his many absurd interactions with companies and public figures. I've organized my favorite "@ replies" into three categories: topical, completely random, and more targeted political commentary.
  1. First, we have the topical:
  2. The missing Malaysian Airlines flight
  3. The 2014 World Cup, when Belgium beat the United States
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  1. Sending handwritten thank-you notes and letters
  2. Still surprising their partner with flowers after decades of being together
  3. Engaging with children and asking them questions, then really listening to their answers
3 more...
  1. You're not ill, and I'm not dead / Doesn't that make us the perfect pair
    "Modern Leper"
  2. You're the shit, and I'm knee-deep in it
    "My Backwards Walk"
  3. Jesus is just a Spanish boy's name / How come one man got so much fame
    "Head Rolls Off"
9 more...
  1. "I'm glad this is an environment where you feel free to fail."
    –Don Draper, Mad Men
  2. "I feel bad for you." "I don't think about you at all."
    –Don Draper, Mad Men
  3. “I’ll bet you were born on a dirt floor. It means I don’t think you’re cool and that your mother was poor.”
    –Jessa, Girls
27 more...
  1. A screaming, bratty toddler throwing a neverending fit in the middle of a crowded grocery store, and nothing you do soothes her, and no one will take her off your hands for even a second
  2. Severe, neverending mono
  3. A huge hand pressing you into the floor, but it's never satisfied and seems like it won't stop until it somehow crushes you into and *passed* the floor, into the ground
4 more...
  1. 1.
    Smug blonde kid who wants to answer every question but gets it wrong 75% of the time
  2. 2.
    Russian mobster with gold chain and tracksuit
  3. 3.
    Nervous front row lisp baby
  4. 4.
    Overly enthusiastic suck up who nods vigorously and says "Mmm" while the professor is speaking