Sickest Burns and Most Devastating Insults From Some of My Favorite TV Shows (Part 1)

  1. "I'm glad this is an environment where you feel free to fail."
    –Don Draper, Mad Men
  2. "I feel bad for you." "I don't think about you at all."
    –Don Draper, Mad Men
  3. “I’ll bet you were born on a dirt floor. It means I don’t think you’re cool and that your mother was poor.”
    –Jessa, Girls
  4. "Dee, you gangly uncoordinated bitch!"
    –Dennis, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
  5. "You look like a Holocaust victim in pageant makeup."
    –Brianna, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
  6. "If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice."
    –Michael, The Office
  7. "Toby now has the floor, and he is going to try not to screw this up, like everything else in his life."
    –Michael, The Office
  8. "Toby works in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family."
    –Michael, The Office
  9. "You know that you're not half as clever as you think." "That still makes me twice as clever as you."
    –Tyrion, Game of Thrones
  10. “Can we bring you anything to eat or drink? I wish we had some wine for you. It’s a bit early in the day for us.”
    –Margaery, Game of Thrones
  11. "Has anyone ever told you you're as boring as you are ugly?"
    –Jamie, Game of Thrones
  12. "Ah yes, the famously tart-tongued Queen of Thorns." “And the famous tart, Queen Cersei."
    –Olenna, Game of Thrones
  13. "My granddaughter, Waltha? Walra? Waldina." "I'm Mary." "Fine."
    –Walder Frey, Game of Thrones
  14. And, of course, the reigning king of brutal insults: HBO's Veep
  15. "Now listen to me, you walking trisomy: I could get dog shit in a condom elected in New Hampshire. You are my puppet."
    –Jeff, Veep
  16. "Are we seriously going to let the guy with the police sketch face of a rapist tell us what to do?"
    –Katherine, Veep
  17. "You don't get the complexity. You're the world's biggest single-celled organism."
    –Ben, Veep
  18. "It was an accident. Much like when Bigfoot got your mom pregnant, resulting in you."
    –Mike, Veep
  19. "Hello, Leon. It's always nice to see the most left-swiped face on Tinder."
    –Amy, Veep
  20. "You have three kids by two different guys. Maybe your last word should have been, 'No.'"
    –Amy, Veep
  21. "What I'm saying, you fucking ape, is that you are a useless waste of fucking carbon."
    –Dan, Veep
  22. “Jesus, look at his stupid gaping mouth. Let’s put stuff in it.”
    –Dan, Veep
  23. "How am I not on The Hill's 50 Hottest Staffers list this year?" "It's the 50 Hottest Staffers, Jonah, not the 50 People Most Likely To Kill Themselves Before Trial."
    –Dan, Veep
  24. "You know, you're about as annoying as a condom filled with fire ants."
    –Roger, Veep
  25. "I'd make more money if I installed Will here as a fulltime gloryhole greeter in a Georgetown gay bar, which I'm pretty sure he already does part time."
    –Roger, Veep
  26. "It's not going to be easy with this big gangly pissflap who moves like…hey, what do you move like?" "I move as slowly as a Mississippi detective investigating the murder of a young black man, sir."
    –Roger & Will, Veep
  27. "What are you laughing about, Jolly Green Jizzface?"
    –Selina, Veep
  28. "He's just a varicose dick vein."
    –Selina, Veep
  29. "That's like trying to use a croissant as a fucking dildo. It doesn't do the job, and it makes a fucking mess!"
    –Selina, Veep
  30. "I'd rather set fire to my vulva, so that's a no."
    –Selina, Veep