Birthday parties, slumber parties, political parties, final exams
  1. I once peeled and ate 15 tangerines in 5 minutes
    I bet I can do more. A little ca-a-ash is all it takes to find out
  2. My right pinky finger
    This finger cannot stand straight on its own. Some people are double jointed. I'm half jointed
  3. My Morgan Freeman impression
    Impeccable impression that sounds perfect in my head but also very similar to Maya Rudolph's Maya Angelou impression. "The bear cub runs over to its mother. They nudge each other playfully, unaware of the tragedy that will soon follow"
  4. The apricot situation
    I can eat an apricot in one bite and spit out the pit after I'm done. And I also can't eat a piece of salad lettuce without choking
  5. I have held a live bird and not killed it
    This is a total lie. I don't know why I said it leave me alone
  6. Old fashioned photoshop
    I can cut out a face from a magazine and match it with a body from another. No sign of change. No questions asked
  7. Dance moves
    When I get to a certain level of nervous or excited my hand involuntarily closes up
  8. Bye
    I can miraculously leave the party less than 5 minutes after I arrive