HOW I WOULD LIVE IF I HAD SCROOGE MCDUCK MONEY

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  1. •
    THE HOUSING: A bungalow with a yard and a pool in the Rockridge or Adams Point areas of Oakland, plus a condo in Rogers Park in Chicago for the summers.
    The exterior of the Chicago building *must* be brick.
  2. •
    THE CLOTHES: Dusen Dusen and Samantha Pleet for every day, Erdem/Kenzo/Rodarte/Christopher Kane for special occasions, and 👜a quilted vintage Chanel purse👜
  3. •
    THE ANIMALS: Hank would have a bunch of those microfiber blankets from Target that she's sexually attracted to, plus a Wikipedia page, plus a nurse and a nanny, so Karl Lagerfeld's cat would look poor and neglected by comparison. Do you hear me, Choupette? Also, a doberman.
  4. •
    THE STAFF: An anti-personal trainer ("You could work out bit you're already so thin"), a compliment czar, and an antisocial media specialist who helps me maintain a little mystery
  5. •
    THE NONSENSE: Frosted champagne glasses filled with frozen gummy bears in every room of my house, plus a small collection of the personal effects of cool dead people like Poly Styrene