NASTIEST PLACES I HAVE PEED

When you gotta go, you gotta go. In ascending order:
  1. 1.
    Stoner dudes' apartment, Evanston
    I was working on a student film. There was a thin layer of pubic hair ALL OVER the floor.
  2. 2.
    The old Fireside Bowl, Chicago
    Before it got fixed up, the bowling alley-cum-music venue had a bathroom that smelled like a dumpster-ashtray combo. Cleanliness is not punk.
  3. 3.
    Port-a-potty, Pitchfork Music Festival
    About as gross as you would expect, and made worse by my bringing my bag inside, like an idiot.
  4. 4.
    Bathroom at Ross on Market Street, San Francisco
    The smell was nauseating, I think because someone had already puked in there.
  5. 5.
    Whole Foods on 24th in Oakland
    The floor was covered in a liquid of some kind--but WHAT kind?!
  6. 6.
    Bathroom at Safeway on 30th and Mission, San Francisco
    I honestly can't remember what was so bad about this one, only that I made a mental note to remember forever how repulsed I was.