Rules from a great thinker and big drinker -- all quoted directly from his memoir, Hitch 22
  1. No "after dinner drinks" - most especially nothing sweet and never, ever any brandy.
  2. No mixing - no messing around with a gin here and a vodka there.
  3. Don't drink if you have the blues: it's a junk cure.
  4. Don't drink on an empty stomach: the main point of refreshment is the enhancement of food.
  5. Cheap booze is a false economy.
  6. Never even think about driving a car if you have taken a drop.
  7. Be careful about upgrading too far to single malt scotch; when you are voyaging in rough countries it won't be easily available.
  8. Alcohol makes other people less boring and can provide what the Greeks called entheos, or the slight buzz of inspiration when reading or writing....
    ... The only worthwhile miracle in the New Testament -- the transmutation of water into wine -- is a tribute to the persistence of Hellenism in an otherwise austere Judaea. The same applies to the Seder at Passover, which is obviously modeled on the Platonic symposium: questions are asked (especially of the young) while wine is circulated. No better form of sodality has ever been devised.
  9. Drink when you are in a good mood.