Things my Roommate Says and Does
My roommate is crazy. And funny. And his fading South African accent just makes it all sound good.
- •Roommate picks up a friend's lipstick "this smells so familiar." Me: "Does it smell like lipstick?" Roommate: "but it reminds me of something. Me: "Does it remind you of wearing lipstick?"
- •Roommate: I mixed you a new drink; it's called yellow fever. It has ice, tequila, and urine.
- •Roommate: "Don't worry, the other day, I left my cell phone and checkbook in the communal laundry room. For a week."
- •Roommates conversation with his sister "I hung up on you cause I don't love you... Are you on drugs?... Your Facebook status seems sad... You're sweet and funny... You could just not be crying and miserable"
- •Roommate, in response to chicken being so tender it falls off the bone: "It's the one time that it's okay to be falling apart in life"
- •Roommate: This bagel is flakier than most of my friends
- •Roommate: "Can you pick up some chicken for me?" Me: "Is empire okay?" Roommate: (speaking about the show, Empire) "Yes! It's amazing. It can be a little soapy at times, but it's such a great show. Acting is good. Theme is good. We should definitely watch!" Me: "...is empire chicken okay?"