Ridiculous Questions People Think Are OK to Ask a Pregnant Lesbian

This list reflects actual questions I was asked when people discovered that I was carrying.
  1. Who's egg is it (yours or your wife's)?
    Really? As if it's any of your business. People get all sorts of biogenetic boldness with this one.
  2. Who is the donor? Do you know him? How did you choose him?
    Are you sure you're the father/ your husband is the baby daddy? Think about it...do the math, was it really who you think it was?
  3. How many times did it take?
    Wait, did what take? Oh, you did just ask me that. How many times did it take you to have your little snot-nosed brat?
  4. Are you having twins?
    Not every same sex couple has IVF and not every IVF means twins. But thanks for the question, smarty pants.
  5. How does that work?
    Let me tell you bout the birds and the bees...and the flowers and the trees...
  6. Did it hurt?
    No. I even smoked a cigarette post coital.
  7. What did it cost?
    --
  8. So, your kid will - like - have other half brothers and sisters running around?
    Like, yeah like we're going to form an army and take over the world! But first, we're going to take your kid's lunch money!