If the Presidential Candidates were members of your college group project
Because 2016 has been one massive group project
- •Hillary Clinton: The OverachieverThis class is in her major and she CARES. She sends you like 1000 emails a day to "check in" on your progress, but then she ends up re-doing your work anyway because she only trusts herself to do it right. A pain to work with, but you will get an A if she's in your group.
- •Donald Trump: The Rich Party BoyHe never comes to the group meetings because he's "too busy" with other work, but your roommate saw him at the bar doing tequila shots and trying to pick up girls. He skips class half the time and then wants to borrow your notes. You weren't sure how he even got into this school until you realized his last name is on one of the buildings. Terrible group member, but he threw a pretty sweet party after the final.
- •Gary Johnson: The Well-Meaning StonerThis guy is either a genius or he's insane, you can't tell. He keeps offering Hillary some weed to get her to "chill out" and since he's usually baked at meetings he gets along with everyone. During the final presentation someone asks him a question and he totally blanks on the answer even though it was something you'd gone over before. Nice guy, but he's taking the class pass/fail so he doesn't put in that much effort.
- •Jill Stein: The "Principled One"She objects to the premise of the assignment because it "reinforces bourgeois values" or something and she's always late to meetings because she refuses to use any mode of transportation that involves fossil fuels. She really doesn't like Hillary because she "sold out to the system". You're confused why she's even taking this class because all she ever does is argue with the professor and refuse to do the homework. She somehow still got a B.
- •Evan McMullin: The FreshmanHe ended up in your group because he doesn't know anyone in the class. No one really takes him seriously because he's a freshman, and he spends all his time on one very specific part of the project. He can't stand Donald because, as a freshman, he still believes you're there to learn, not to party. He turns out to be pretty smart even though none of you had ever heard of him before.
- •Mike Pence: The "Old Man"He shows up to meetings at EXACTLY the time you agreed on and is annoyed that other people got there before or after he did. He wants to make sure that the PowerPoint isn't too "flashy" and he never wants to meet after 9 pm because it's "so late" He usually eats at 4:30 when the dining hall opens. He spends most of his time apologizing for Donald's behavior and you're pretty sure Mike has been doing his homework for him.
- •Tim Kaine: The Nice OneTim is one of the nicest guys in the class, and the only one in the group who seems to genuinely like Hillary. You've never seen him frown. He made cookies for everyone but he keeps asking if he can incorporate some Español into the presentation or play the harmonica. He's easy to work with, even if he does tell a lot of Dad Jokes.