Colorful Names I Have Been Known to Give the Drivers Around Me
- •Captain Zippy
- •General Jack-Off and His Bum HummerReserved for ONLY those driving Hummers that are tailgating me (which happens more often than one might legitimately think possible)
- •Admiral FuckwitWhen Captain simply won't do
- •Bobby the MeerkatThe car in a line of traffic that keeps bobbing out to the side to see what the hold up is and if they can get around it faster.
- •Mister SwitchyOr Ms. I don't discriminate based on gender.
- •Jackass John Tiny-PenisOkay, this one is discriminatory based on gender. It's also highly useful.
- •Bingo the Bad DriverThis is the name I use when I have children in the car with me.
- •The Grand Marshall Jesus Christ
- •Ass DoucheAs in, "Hang up you damn phone and drive, you colossal Ass Douche!"