Non Sequitur Excerpts from the Dog Park

  1. "Hey! Bad Rocket! Not Polite!"
    Me, when my dog arbitrarily decides to hump another dog's face
  2. "Oh don't worry about him. He's just an asshole."
    Said by the woman with red hair and ugly shoes as her dog peed on another dog. I wasn't sure who the asshole was: her dog, or the one he peed on.
  3. "...I liked the dog more than my husband, anyway."
    Some things you overhear, and you just keep walking.
  4. Puppy parent: "Why does your dog keep just running circles around the pen? Is he OCd?" Me: "He's an Australian Cattle Dog... so... yes?"
  5. "Hey! Stop that! If you don't stop that, we aren't going to Dairy Queen on the way home! You're not gonna get a pup cup!"
    Said by a short granmotherly woman with questionable judgement when it comes to whether she can tell the difference between her grandchildren and her dog, and her choice to feed excessive dairy to her dog.
  6. "Oh, he's on a full vegan diet."
    That poor, poor dog. I gave him a snausage when his mommy was playing Candy Crush on her phone. It's evil, I know, but so is putting your dog on a vegan diet.