REASONS THAT I HATE THANKSGIVING

OR THE WHAT I'M NOT THANKFUL FOR list
  1. Over 20 hours spent in a car in less than 5 days with 2 kids under the age of 4.
    We live states away from our extended families. We don't travel much because of work and school schedules, but husband insists on going for thanksgiving.
  2. Stopping at least once every 45-60 minutes because of tiny toddler bladders
  3. 2-4 hours spent in fast food restaurants letting the littles run off pent up energy.
  4. Forced family functions and activities
    This shit is NOT for me.
  5. Dinner 1: My in-laws are fucking crazy
    V religious and v conservative. My husband and I are neither. So being forced into holding hands and (standing quietly and steeping in awkwardness) singing prayers and gospel around the dinner table before we can eat (dry) turkey and (lumpy) mashed potatoes? Not really my thing.
  6. Dinner 2: My family is fucking crazy.
    Loud and opinionated. I'm used to their brand of crazy because I grew up with it, but I still prefer it in v small doses. At least the food is 💯
  7. Most of the time is spent with them complaining about how they never see us and it's our fault that the kids "don't know them"
    We are the only ones who make any effort to visit and yet "Why don't you visit more often?" (WE'RE HERE NOW), "I guess you're just too busy having fun to see your family" (WE'RE HERE NOW AND GETTING A ROOT CANAL SOUNDS LIKE MORE FUN THAN THIS), "if you came here more often then maybe..." (OMG STOP IT WE'RE HERE NOW AND I LITERALLY NEVER WANT TO COME BACK)
  8. I get "well meaning" advice and back handed compliments all. day. long.
    Only truly skilled magician could sift through the layers of passive aggressive, self pitying, guilt tripping bullshit conversation. "You know I saw on Dr Oz about this miracle weight loss drug..." ✋😒
  9. Sleeping in beds that are neither mine nor a hotel
    We got a hotel one year and STILL hear about how disrespectful it was and "how could we deprive the family of that precious little time we get to spend together" 🙄