SEMI-EMBARRASSING FACTS ABOUT ME

  1. I use GPS to go *most* places
    Seriously I've lived in my town for 3 years and if it's not one of my usual places then I'm GPSing it. My husband is a human GPS and is like "this numbered interstate goes North-South and this numbered goes West-East" and I'm like "that means NOTHING to me".
  2. I am awful at applying makeup
    I can barely blend my BB cream, let alone eyeshadow or achieve sexy eyeliner. I've watched hundreds of YouTube videos. It's almost shameful and this one isn't even for lack of trying 😕
  3. I can't decorate
    Shit makes no sense to me. I can't look at a blank canvas and pair shit together. Our walls are bare. Our living room is earth toned neutrals because I can't mess that up. Hopeless.
  4. I also can't put an outfit together
    I'd love to be one of those stylish women with their shit together. If I have a halfway decent outfit on then it's because someone (usually a dear saleswomen who I have wrangled into helping me) has orchestrated the look for me. My kids are dressed impeccably. Me? Not so much.
  5. I'm back in college taking courses with people 10 years younger than me.
  6. I wrote bowns today and stared at it for an unreasonable amount of time trying to figure out why it didn't look right.
    Bones. I meant bones. 😞 midterms are killing me.