Worst Haircuts of My Life, by Age

  1. Age 8: The Staircase, Part 1
    The hairdresser took out my Heidi braids and went straight for the scissors. Later, it was revealed that one half of my hair was ridiculously longer than the other. My mother was not pleased.
  2. Age 11: The Neo-Rachel
    Torn between my desperate need to be cool and my crippling shyness, I ended up with a strange cut with lots of layers hitting right at my shoulders. I didn't describe what I wanted very well, and I was way to shy to tell her I didn't like it.
  3. Age 13: The Surprise Highlights
    A friends mom cut hair in her home, so it seemed safe. She had fancy shampoo and a leopard print cape. The cut was what I wanted, and I was all set to go when all of a sudden she pulls out a little shower cap. The next thing I know she's pulling my hair through micro holes with a crochet hook. I looked very stripey for years, and finally grew out the last of the highlights when I was 20.
  4. Age 19: The One I Didn't Pay For
    I wanted something shoulder length and edgy. She gave me shoulder length and...layered, kind of? Definitely not edgy. And layered in unflattering lengths. I couldn't hide my disappointment at my lack of edginess, and so she didn't charge me for it.
  5. Age 22: The Staircase, Part 2
    I went to a beauty school. I had it cut short, above my shoulders. Somehow, the pieces around my face were long on the left and short on the right. I had to go back and have them redo it, and by then it was an inch shorter than what I wanted.