WAYS MY GRANDMOTHER SPENT OUR POTENTIAL INHERITANCE
Elsie was a real gem.
- •GamblingFlorida's casinos are still reeling from her death.
- •Acrylic nailsAlways in hot pink.
- •Baked salmon and bialys (how the hell do you spell the plural of bialy?)The highlight of my childhood visits... Except when Elsie would get cream cheese stuck under her hot pink acrylics and proceed to suck it out making noises not dissimilar to sizzling oil. Shudder.
- •Every season of Walker, Texas RangerElsie was Chuck Norris' biggest fan.
- •Lincoln town carsAll champagne colored.
- •Long-distance calls to my motherTopics discussed: meatball recipes, my good-for-nothing goy of a father, and who died.