PEOPLE I WANT TO PUNCH
- •Anyone who calls me during nap time.Sleep when the baby sleeps, motherfuckers.
- •Naturally thin people.I can eat anything I want!
- •Judgy playground moms.Yes, my child just ate an apple covered in dirt. Don't worry, it's organic.
- •All my friends who now sell things.I don't want your face cream, your purses or your essential oils. I unfriend you.
- •Parents whose children's birthday parties last more than 90 minutes.Stop the torture.
- •She who must not be named.You know who you are.
- •All the republican presidential candidates.I'm becoming a libertarian.
- •Anyone who thinks pineapple on pizza is good.Stop it.
- •Teenagers who call me ma'am.You're the worst.