RECENT LEVELS OF PARENTING I'VE BEATEN

Current objective: turning Declan (age 2.5) into a human
  1. Sleeping in a real bed
    Extra points for not falling out.
  2. Forward facing in the car
    Deduction for not quite reaching height limit.
  3. Vocabulary expansion
    Boost for 3+ syllable words: unacceptable, delicious, etc.
  4. Standing in line/ following on command
    Extra speed for parking lot hand holding.
  5. Sitting in a real chair vs high chair at a restaurant
    Achievement for child handing all butter knives at the table to me before anyone can touch them.
  6. Potty training
    Extra coins for diaper money savings.
  7. Mom of the year.