QUALIFICATIONS FOR BEING MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT

  1. Great eyebrows a must.
  2. Ability to pick up quotes to Disney movies, musicals, Hocus Pocus, and Mean Girls highly preffered.
  3. Must get overly excited about small victories.
  4. Must be ready to randomly harmonize to any song.
  5. Must know starting lineups each Sunday for last minute fantasy football tinkering.
  6. Must know when to either a) deliver a donut or b) smack a donut out of my hand.